Daddy's Coming Honey!



A baby, by any other name, still smells like talcum and sewer.

By any other name, a baby still smells like talcum and sewer.

But as the time to discover the sex comes close, the idea of a name approaches as well. Before we could discover the sex, most folks would either have it determined long before, or wait until the day of delivery. Thus, sometimes a girl was named “Billy.” Thus concludes the history portion of our talk.

I am often called the name Cabal, which stands, of course, for the long version of the name on my birth certificate: Clifford Arlington Buckingham Ashley-Cooper Lauderdale. My parents believed in a long and proudful name. I also just made up a word. But eventually the name was shortened to “Caleb,” which means “faithful” or “dog”, depending on the context. Carrie’s name, incidentally, means, “beautiful woman of the mountains who shall be swept up by a brave man and given the blessing of happy children.”

My brother Luke—scholars maintain that his name means “fatty”.

We have begun to dwell on names, the verbal and written cues to the surface of our identities. Multiple theories exist: Should it just sound simple so we can repeat it easily when they’re in trouble? Should it be something so special they always feel…special? Should it be aristocratic? Common? Should we name them after a Bible character to make sure they go to Heaven—I mean, remind them of the values we want to pass on?

Well, we considered naming a boy Jacob Edward, but thanks to Twilight, that can’t happen. Thank you Stephanie Meyer, for wasting bookshelves and ruining two good names.

So what will we name our child? Well, let’s let our innumerable host of fans help decide. Below is a list of names we have been mulling over. Would you like to vote for them? Vote by commenting on this entry. You can even suggest your own. You may even win a prize, having the baby named after you. I’m totally serious about this. I want all three of you to respond.

BOY NAMES:
Percival
Pubert
Fauntleroy
Guy
Ryder
Otis
Aldo
Britton
Bert
Jentzen
Jayden
Ayden
Gayden
Myson
Umano
Chauncey Smith-Hopkins
the Honorable Elijah Muhamed (peace be upon him)
Espn
Destry
K’shawn
Aurelius
Kal-El
Jermagesty
Ruger
Bubba
Ptolemy
Anfemy
Paisley
Octavious
Clement
Shlo-meat

GIRL NAMES:
Flannery
Gretchen
Astrid
Bertha
Mildred
Elvira
Topanga
Moxie
Zuma
Reignbeau
Tierrainney
McKaty
Cinsere
Kryslyn
Laken
Oleo
Irelynd
Kaytaquana
Agnes
Fatima
Olga
Trixie
Beatrixie
She-Hulk
Topramenisha
7fo55-u

Vote now…

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Comments

  1. * Cousin! says:

    Britton for a boy, Kryslyn for a girl 🙂 When do you find out the sex?

    | Reply Posted 7 years ago
    • you’ll know by Xmas, put it that way

      | Reply Posted 7 years ago
      • * Spencer says:

        Look at you, taking the reason out of the season.
        Ashamed.

        Posted 7 years ago
      • * Spencer says:

        Next thing I know, you’ll be saying “Happy Holidays”

        Posted 7 years ago
  2. Pubert or Topanga for sure!

    | Reply Posted 7 years ago
  3. * willnorrid says:

    I like switching Britton to a girl’s name and combine it with Flannery.

    Britton Flannery Guard.

    On a boy name how about Cary for mom. Boys are often named after their fathers but seldom their mothers and after all she is doing most of the work anyway.

    Peace!

    | Reply Posted 7 years ago
  4. * Adam says:

    Spock for boy and Crystal Gale for a girl

    | Reply Posted 7 years ago
  5. * Spencer says:

    Ptolemy no doubt. Boy or girl.

    | Reply Posted 7 years ago


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